Introverts: Answer 8 Questions to Break Free from Perfectionism and Get it Done I have a not-so-surprising confession to make: I’m a perfectionist. If my correspondence is visit our website any indication, many introverts share this trait (and I suspect many extroverts as well). Fjällräven Kånken No.2 Perfectionism serves us in many ways: it motivates us to make our best effort; it results in high-quality, accurate work; it fuels our self-esteem (who wants to think of herself as mediocre?). However, there are also many ways in which perfectionism does not serve us: it prevents us from completing (or sometimes starting) a project; it sets us up for failure (because the “perfect” result is never attained) – which then damages our self-esteem. So there you have it: perfectionism can be a double-edged sword that simultaneously helps and hurts our self-esteem. Adidas ZX Flux Heren This is one reason we find it so hard to “let go” of our perfectionist tendencies – we may be aware of the downside, but we don’t want to lose the upside. So what’s a conflicted introvert to do? My recommendations (I have used these for myself with moderate success): * Recognize that perfection is an ideal, not necessarily an attainable goal. * Keep the desire for the ideal, but drop the insistence on it (i.e. make it a want, not a need). * Stop beating yourself up for being a perfectionist – it probably helped you get where you are today. nike air max 2016 dames * At the same time, stop hay day hacks using perfectionism as an excuse to not start or complete something (yeah it feels uncomfortable, but it gets easier with practice). * Distinguish between doing your best (which is within your control) and doing a perfect job (which may not be within your control). Asics Gel Noosa męskie OK, so you want to stop using perfectionism as an excuse, but you still can’t seem to get things done. I did not really address the “how” of changing what is probably a well-established habit for you. Here is where your introvert processing comes in handy: try reasoning your way to a new behavior. The next time you are faced with a project you can’t begin, or can’t complete because you want it to be “perfect,” set aside some thinking time and ask yourself the following questions: 1. How will I know this is perfect? (What objective measure can I use?) 2. Can I make it perfect in big fish casino hack 2017 the time allotted Check our website to this task/project? 3. nike air max Flyknitmęskie What’s the worst that could happen if I release my imperfect product/creative effort/report? 4. Is this the best I can do right now? 5. What can I improve upon next time? 6. ray ban femme pas cher What can I learn from exposing my imperfect effort to others? 7. What benefit will others get from my imperfect effort? 8. What am I avoiding by withholding until everything is perfect? Answering these questions will help you clarify your own boundaries for how much/how long you are willing to work on something before you declare it finished. Nike Air Max 2016 Dames blauw Having identified a specific stopping point gets you out of the stuck-zone of endless “perfecting” cycles. adidas yeezy boost At the very least, you will gain some insight into what’s really holding you back. nike roshe two hombre Chances are it’s not perfectionism per se, but whatever your perfectionism is protecting you from.
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Internet Dating, Gorgeous Grandma Style Internet dating, gorgeous grandma style By Alice Solomon Here you are, over 50, and in that curious position of dating again…and hating it. Reluctantly, you try Internet dating (only because you have heard others have met there) and find it different, odd, and not at all satisfying because your efforts have not been rewarded. There dwell younger men who write “I love older women” (full of bull, of course; they’re just fooling around); or married men; or men who lure women with sex talk (never respond to those lechers!); or, men visit our website whose ads you’ve answered and you never hear from (which you will not do again). Stop! Hold it! Listen, dear single sisters. I am about to improve your Internet dating technique, your approach, and your success. There is a method to this madness of wonderful, successful, attractive, experienced older women finding love and romance on the web (or anywhere else, actually). I have had the experience, done the research, and listened to the true tales of hundreds of single sisters who have enjoyed success (and failure) on this very same Internet dating adventure. So, listen up and learn some different maneuvering for online dating that, perhaps, you’ve not even thought of before. Gorgeous grandma style What is “gorgeous grandma style?” A single Gorgeous Grandma (GG) is any woman of 50+ years who believe she has her whole life ahead of her — not behind her. She’s a sophisticated, worldly, wise, attractive, and experienced woman who offers tremendous value to any man who is smart enough to recognize her appeal. For the most part, she outperforms her younger sisters in every way, be it brains, sensuality, or life experience. So, when a Gorgeous Grandma, who is a dynamite package of self-esteem and confidence, enters the online dating world to find a loving companion with whom to share her years ahead, she approaches the task with a totally different image and attitude than her younger counterparts. How does she behave online? Just like this: 1. A GG does not reply to profiles. I don’t care if he is a twin of Paul Newman’s. Replying to a profile is the same as a phone call. GGs do not phone men or reply to their profiles — especially strangers. It’s no challenge for a man when a woman initiates any meeting. compra mochilas kanken Let the man be the pursuer. Initiating a meeting or calling him is the same as asking him out. It is a definite no-no. Adidas 2017 Goedkoop 2. A GG creates a delightfully short, breezy profile where she writes, “interested in meeting new people,” and does not write “seeking long-term relationship” or “loving companion.” She sounds light and casual, not intense because it scares men away. She creates an attractive screen name that gives a good sense of her identity: “IloveGolf;” “CuteBrunette;” “TennisBabe;” nothing describing body parts or sexual. 3. She posts only one photo (more than one signals “desperate.” A GG is never desperate!). Air Foamposite One She makes it her most attractive and, if necessary, has it done professionally. Nike Air Max 2016 Heren grijs At the very least, she wears no sunglasses or mega jewelry. She is not without makeup. She has combed her hair. asics pas cher (I don’t believe how some women portray themselves online — no wonder they have no takers.) 4. She reviews her responses and eliminates the creeps — the 16-year olds who are fooling around; the married men; the nerds; anyone who sounds strange; anyone who writes about visit our website sex. 5. She waits 24 hours before she answers a man’s first email. She does not believe an interested man should be paid attention to right away. She plays hard to get — from the very beginning. She gives the impression (true or not) that she has a very busy life and that this Internet venture takes a back seat to her real life. 6. As she emails her responses, she maintains a logbook to keep track of those who are sincere and those who are too cute. She checks screen names for undesirables. She checks for form letters which she dumps. She also dumps emails with no words and emails from time wasters. 7. GGs never chase men. If she does not receive a response after her first email, she doesn’t send a second one. nike outlet shop 8. GGs always request a photo of the man. Maglie Boston Celtics If he doesn’t send one, she deletes him. He’s probably married or has a girlfriend. 9. Computer dating is best divided into: online meeting; clicking into private rooms; telephone big fish casino hack 2017 calls; the real meeting. GGs will not take too long with their online friendships. Online conversations can move quickly from general topics to intimate ones. A GG’s goal is to meet in person. 10. If a man does not suggest getting together after a week or two online, she drops him. She is too busy to waste her precious time on game players. 11. A GG does not respond to continuing emails right away. She waits an hour or two because she is a busy woman. When emailing a man, she always keeps her conversations short and light. 12. GGs do not answer emails on Fridays and Saturdays after 5:00 p.m. She may, or may not, log on to her computer on Sunday evenings. 13. A GG does exchange Instant Messages with strangers. She disables it if she is online Friday or Saturday nights. 14. A GG places her profile online for two or three months at a time. If the responses dwindle, she removes her photo and profile and takes a breather. sac kanken She rewrites her profile (with the help of family and friends, if need be), posts a different photo, and returns online for another few months. Nike Air Max 2017 Dames wit 15. Always mindful of safety, a GG remembers to: • Not believe everything she reads. • Not respond to lewd or crude messages. • Not to give out her Social Security number, home phone number, credit card number, or password. • Not reveal too much about her personal life. The medium lends itself to talking about details — personal feelings, family matters, hobbies. By the time she meets him, she may feel she knows him, but, of course, she doesn’t. • Always give him her cell phone number, not her home phone number. • Trust her instincts. If the person seems odd, she ceases all correspondence and changes her screen name. My final word: the secret to any GG’s share this website success is persistence, online and off. Do try it.
Intrinsic Motivation and the Striving Styles System American psychologist Henry Murray (1893-1988) described needs as a, “potentiality or readiness to respond in a certain way under certain visit our website given circumstances” (1938). Human needs are the source of intrinsic motivation for all behavior and social interaction. We all have needs that we strive to satisfy in a variety of ways based on a hierarchy of favorite needs. Fjallraven Kanken 20L If the conditions are right, and an individual’s dominant need does get met, they are poised for growth and the exploration of how they can seek greater levels of self-actualization. Nike Air Max Tavas męskie In order for this to happen, social and relationship systems must be responsive to these needs. The result of not having your dominant need met or recognized causes instability and insecurity leading to adaptive and self protective behaviours and an over reliance on extrinsic motivation. The Striving Styles System offers an approach to needs satisfaction by making it easy to identify dominant needs. It is based on the theory that each of us has an intrinsic or dominant need that must be met in order for us to self-actualize and we use our emotional energy to get that need met. These needs are hard-wired into the brain and set at top eleven cheats tool the time of birth. Andrew Heaney Jersey The give form to the personality and the way one interacts with the world. There are eight dominant needs and patterns of behavior that are easily identifiable as Striving Styles. They have distinct patterns of self-actualizing and self-protective behaviours. The System recognizes that there are various things that interfere with recognizing and meeting our dominant need. If we are deprived of the conditions that support the identifying and meeting of our needs, we continue to survive, but we will not succeed in meeting our full potential. Not all behaviour is predictable. The Striving Styles System is useful in hay day hacks laying the groundwork for understand certain things about yourself that you would not normally understand. For example, understanding what your dominant need is in relationships vs. what you were conditioned to believe they were can help you break dysfunctional patterns in relationships. Adidas Zx 500 Heren The Striving Styles System and needs satisfaction approach to self-actualizing take into account the complexity and diversity of personalities and the unrelenting nature of human needs to be met. Within this system, a person’s dominant need cannot be compromised as it is that need which provides the foundation for security. nike goedkoop online The more aware we are of our dominant need and how to get the need met, the less likely we are to be totally dependent on the unconscious processes love here that occur when we do not have this information. Our dominant need is non-negotiable. If we do not get it met, we don’t feel safe and become self-protective. There are other needs that are negotiable and not as connected to survival and whether they are met are not are of little consequence. Nike Air Max 2016 Heren Zwart For example, a child with a dominant need for security has a low need for recognition. Stephen Piscotty Replica Jersey It does not matter to them whether or not they are selected for a role in the school play. However, that same child will feel frightened and anxious if their routine is disrupted. Nike Air Max 1 Heren groen Development and self-actualization occur when we meet our dominant need and integrate meeting other needs as well. It also occurs when we are able to suspend getting our dominant need met and are able to recognize that it creates anxiety, but we build tolerance to the feeling instead of shutting down our development so that we don’t feel.
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